When I made the decision to leave my blemishes unmasked by concealer, I found a little peace of mind. Strange how sometimes we reach conclusions in seemingly unrelated moments.
I admit I was carrying a bit of shame and guilt with me for a while about putting my student status on hold and neglecting to apply for jobs immediately. I don't want to be a dead-weight on my mother, and I don't want to waste any time in my young life. But I reached the conclusion that, whether this is my doing or not, I'm doing heavy emotional lifting and renovating in this 'down-time'. A lot of processing is going on beneath the surface, but I'm slowly growing more aware of it. The body is an extremely mysterious learning tool, but I feel as though I've grown savvy to signs of progress. My dreams, too, have become indicative of progress. First, the purge - then the relaxation into cleanliness. It's been fun. I am content to know that I'm spending my time building myself, and surrounding myself with love. I try to brighten at least one person's day each day - I wouldn't feel comfortable hoarding.
La Roux's sound piques my interest. I have a bit of a headache and, I believe, an impending cold, but life is good. Life is kind to me.
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