Documentation

I have water boiling on the stove to make myself some delicious gemelli-carbs. MMM.
I don't know why everyone hates calories. They keep you alive. Most people miss the point of food, I think. Anyways...

Today after I'd departed from the skytrain station, I decided to take the long way home. I ended up at the park, and the sky was drizzling just a little. Like it was bored and spitting at the rest of the world... Anyways, I sat on a swing, pulled down my hood to free up my peripheral, and began to sing.

All of a sudden, I was swinging like 6 feet off the ground, just belting at the view below me. It was pretty neat - I hadn't made a conscious decision to start swinging, but it was like the music had driven me to pump. A small group of crows congregated on a wood plank in front of me, and I sang at them. They ruffled their feathers when I began to sing Elton John. It was cute.

It got cold eventually, but it was a good feeling. Even though I was physically exhausted, it was sort of as if I had refilled my emotional HP. Sorry to be such a nerd. By the way, that means hit points and definitely not Harry Potter. BRB PASTA


It's not hard to guess where this energy's coming from. LOL.
Time does go by so quickly, doesn't it?

My Cat Just Sneezed On Me Four Times

I spent 68 dollars on headphones today. I think I need a hug or a slap in the face. But, I feel like I would be pretty stoked on life if I didn't physically feel like crap. Maybe. Fuck it I'm going to sleep. And just so everyone is aware, I was having a good day until 5 minutes ago, so I wanted to perhaps disprove all the misconceptions that ALL I do is bitch about life. I mean, it's not far off, but still.
Also, who wants to blog about life when they're off enjoying it? I mean, really.

Any Outlet, Every Outlet

I had an amazing afternoon and evening, yesterday.
Holding the attention of the people I care about, I thought, would be entirely nerve-wracking. But all of a sudden they were smiling and laughing and it got warmer and nicer.
And, do you want to know a secret?
I made the same wish when I blew out my candles, and when I made the first cut of cake.
I hope that's allowed, because I did it.

Swing dancing was great, the birthday dance was great, etc.
And so of course, this morning feels very cold and quiet in comparison.
Though, I am deeply thankful. For a lot of things, actually.

I just feel a little speechless.

SONGS LYRICS THAT DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL

I just woke up from a 3 hours nap, it's dark, I am bittersweet and something in my heart hurts. CUE BARENAKED LADIES

I feel fine enough, I guess. Considering everything's a mess

And now - Oh, Billy Joel? You got somethin' to say?

If you said goodbye to me tonight

There would still be music left to write

What else could I do, I'm so inspired by you

That hasn't happened for the longest time

I don't care what consequence it brings

I have been a fool for lesser things

I want you so bad, I think you ought to know

that I intend to hold you for the longest time

...Voila.

Coca-Cola Floats II

A while ago, I'm pretty sure I made a wish at 11:11 or on a shooting star or something, and that wish was, "I wish for things to suck for a while, but then consequently, improve a millionfold."

And I feel comfortable telling you that, because I think it's happened. Essentially all areas of my life have improved after a two-week rough patch (and it was pretty shitty). I'm extremely grateful.

Friday night was my grandmothers' birthday dinner, which was pretty nice. She liked the poem I wrote for her, a lot. And my 6 year old cousin started calling me "madahhhm", all suave and sophisticated. I also got him to call our server 'kind gentleman'. And while all of this was going on, my 6 month old cousin, was squealing like a parakeet in the upper-class restaurant. It was quite the time.

Afterward, my grandmother, mother, brother and I all went to go see The Social Network, which was a really great movie. Mind you, I may be extremely bias due to the fact that Armie Hammer, who plays Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, is an extreme babe. Like, offroad hunkery. Without a seatbelt. Oh baby. Moving on...

Then on Saturday night, swing dancing was a blast. I love the shim sham. I'd like to wife it.
I should most likely be on my way to shower and get the maddening itch from my eyes. I think it's some sort of energetic allergy. I'm not sure to what, yet. Or maybe my mascara's old/being mean.

Goodnight, all. I pray you have restful sleeps.

Coca-Cola Floats

2 somewhat definitive things about me:

High-waisted jeans
Vanilla Ice Cream and Coca-Cola.

Also, I spent the entirety of Sunday reading Rachel Dawes/Jonathan Crane fanfics. Steamy. I think I've inadvertently been doing some informal research on Stockholm Syndrome. I find it rather intriguing.

Goodnight.

Red Sunset

I think I'm experiencing a little bit of a crisis, but not to worry, it's nothing that I can control. ...No seriously, chill, I have absolutely no say in how this is going to go.
...No, I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying, this is completely and entirely out of my hands and I have no starting point to try and fathom what is going to befall me today. Really, it's cool.
I'm just cranky.

I had some pretty significant dreams last night, none of which I can really share due to the fact that the internet is the absolute opposite of privacy (But Sarah, what were you trying to accomplish with a blog?), but there was one dream in which I watched a sun setting very quickly from in a tall tree. It was red. As you may have guessed from the title. Anyways

Last night I had a good run. It was nice. Today I don't know why I feel like such SHIT but I do. What day is it... the 6th? Nah... Kay, one theory ruled out. Just sayin'.

I have to go... do nothing. Just kidding I'm going to do something and it'll be awesome good day.

Needle

I really enjoy my naturopath appointments. I'm happier now than I was at 2:30, and I think that's a valuable experience; something that makes you happy.
And they gave me some more music to listen to, when I asked, which is wonderful.
I think I'm going to go have a shower, do some hydrotherapy for my tendonfriend, and then have a nap. After that I have an appointment with a few of my dear gentlemen friends.
Hm... Want another song?

Grammar

To my vain disdain
I can't seem to obtain
The shameless girl with my name

Because I see her laughing there
And I can't help but stare
As she dares to share fer faith with the world
She wears a beautiful string of pearls
And no apologies
She strikes the soul inside of me
With love,
The most dangerous catalyst

I can't tell whose fault it is
Mine for being foolish,
Or yours for being cute
But it kills me, 'cuz I know
She's the one to be with you

And if you must know the truth
I don't care what I wear
Or how I fix my hair
But it matters when you flatter
My jokes, and my grammar

I feel I owe you sometimes, but why?
Since I'm too shy to say goodbye
With but my eyes
And yes, I cried
But a few hidden tears here and there
Won't keep me from wanting to share
How much I really care about the crosswords
It's too much, maybe

Again she's in my mind
Trying desperately to find a way to me
To say to me
We're the same, young lady
And just maybe
She can save me

She lets me feel the fabric of her silk gown
And I let her feel the curve of my sad frown
Just a little longer, she coos
And I'll find you.

Though you may not understand
Won't you please still hold my hand
As I try to miss you?

Scarf: The Verb

I have no idea why, but for some insane reason I haven't eaten at all today until, more or less, 45 seconds ago. And, I had to walk/trudge/drag my sorry self for 15 minutes from the train. 15 minutes isn't much, I'm very aware, but when you're weak and ailing and upset and have hypoglycemia problems, it certainly isn't remotely comparable to a frolic in a field of wheat.
'Nuff said.

I'm so fucking tired - I was going to get some stuff done today, but I don't see anything but eating, sleeping and whining for the next few hours. Brb, getting more mini pizzas.

4 Pillsbury doughcircleswithquestionablehaphazardlystrewnabout may be too much. That should be what they put on the box, by the way. I'm just SO HUNGRAYYFILAY

Jawbone

Well, the deed's been done.

I've cleaned my room, and I still miss you.
I've studied for my midterm tomorrow, and I still miss you.
I polished off the jujubes, and yes, I still miss you.

But you know what?
My girls are coming over soon, and after a wonderful night, I'm going to go to sleep.
And tomorrow... well, maybe some things will change.

Pheonix

So I'm getting pretty tired of this shit. My room is a mess, my journal is blank, and my songwriting's blocked. Something's obviously been going on and that something is going to gtfo right this instant. Ya hear?

Here's a song I wrote a long time ago. By that I mean like 2 months and by that I mean it's true.

Gold & Green

I hate that when my basement floods

You're still the one I'm thinkin' 'bout

As I panic, and throw towels at the floor.

Even in these trying times

I still talk to you in rhymes

And I'm not too sure that I can't take much more.

Diggin' through the dirt to clean the storm drain

Not bothering to shelter myself from the rain

Endlessly pushing through worms, leaves and bark

Nothing on my mind but that breathtaking spark

And nothing on my lips but a smile in the dark

Now the door is closed, and the flood contained

But I've not yet grown bitter to the sound of the rain

And, moving books to boxes that won't mold

I'm startled by the absence of frustration

It's 2:30AM and I'm way too cold

But I'm wrapped in the blanket of elation

Nothing to do but hum softly at you

My hands still flecked with dirt

The stucco doesn't care for my antics,

So I bid it adieu

And I guess, to you too

When I shut my eyes and threw my mind to hope.

The maple taste still on my tongue

It hits me that we're so young

And beautiful, and fresh and dumb.

So many mistakes left to make

So many patterns to break

And holy shit, so many risks to take

So look at my eyes just one more time

And tell me that you don't see

Inside the rings of gold and green

Everything you mean to me.

*******

And there you have it. My version of a love song.

I'll play it for you sometime if you ask me IRL. I dare you.

Now I'm gonna go clean my room and my spirit. Until next time...

Sweetheart Palpitations

This saccharine poem was inspired by a lucky penny.
But not actually 'cuz that's a metaphor. Moving on.

Now this may sound a little odd
But these are modern times
And I happen to have found myself
In an intriguing little bind.

All women wish
To be the miss
With the most dapper man to kiss
But me, my wish
I must dismiss
Before it slips out from my lips.

I looked for the gent who stole my heart
And a healing man, I found
I stood my ground when I heard his sound
'Twas the gentlest laugh around.

Here is my dilemma, friend
And you needn't do the math
My situation is dire, because...
I've a crush on my naturopath.

Don't get me wrong, it's all good and nice
When he raises my wrist to place the ice
And he smirks at my jokes about my diet
And notices when I seem too quiet.

My heart races when he checks my pulse
As if I'm being pursued
My palpitations are rather erratic
And I think he's quite confused.

Acupuncture's got the greatest eyes
And the strongest, soothing touch
I never thought I would enjoy
Getting stabbed with needles so much.

Needless to say, I've gone astray
I just can't seem to focus on Friday
And before we check temp
I must convey
How much I appreciate you caring this way.

I'm grateful for the thermometer
Inhibiting my tongue
I don't want to tell you all these things
My heart's so naive and young.

My knight in shining dress shirt
With you stethoscope, adorned
This lovely rose with an N.D
Simply has no thorns.

A conflict of interest, maybe
But darling, that's a secret
I promise it won't interfere
As long as I can keep it.

I'll miss you when you're gone, good sir
You've been such a kind friend to me
Through countless bad days
And a diverse array
Of ailments and injuries

I hope to see you again, dear friend
And I hope that it's quite soon
And if you'd like me to visit, too
I'll be extra clumsy-
Just for you.