Purple Shoes

Yesterday, I had an interesting encounter with a pair of shoes.

To preface this, last winter, my best friend bought me a pair of purple shoes. I wore them through the snow and emotional rollercoaster that became of the last months of that year and the first months of the next. The colour was a constant in a coupling, a physical manifestiation of like minds, like hearts, like goals. Like interests, like passions. The two pairs of purple shoes were indicatiors, like a sign saying, "These two people, though they don't yet know it, have a journey to embark on." And, young that we are or were, we careened down the path that we chose for ourselves.
I saw the same pair, unbroken soles, at Value Village. I put them on, raving the whole time about how I loved these shoes, and how nostalgic they made me. They looked the same on my feet as they once did, but everything from my ankles up looked and felt different.
"Get them, then, if you love them so much!" My friend said.
I looked down at the shoes, then took them off.
"I just feel like I'm done with them." I said.
Is that what it's going to be like?

Now I'm sitting here, missing quite a few people. A pretty significant portion of my life has been spent missing people, and from this I have realized something. I have realized that I have changed. I have become an almost completely different person than I was when they were here. I have grown internally, and I am not the only one who does such a thing. Sometimes people change so subtly that you don't notice any different until someone lets some wisdom slip, or reacts differently to a commonplace situation. Some changes, though, can rock people. Some dynamics don't work anymore, because the fragile little cogs that used to be present in the both of you simply aren't there anymore. They've broken off to reveal a smooth surface, and therefore there is distance.

Maybe that's what's going on, but there is no way for me to tell, at least for a time.
I've gotten quite a few of those strange feelings lately, and I'm quite assured it's just processing. I'm probably due for a blast of fresh air, and yoga tonight will help. I should go shower, now, and prepare for my Downtown adventure. I pray that my rampant emotion flow through me neatly, instead of spilling over into a situation that could be what I've been hoping for.

I want to learn to fight and freerun and sing.