Black Beetles

Why does it bother me so much when people kill moths?

Let's explore this, gently. Sidenote: It's quarter to three in the morning.

Bugs aren't big. Insects and arachnids tend to be quite small, but for some reason there is a general stigma about them that deems them less valuable than other living creatures. It could also be due to the fact that they're just so easy to kill and wipe up and get rid of, but here are my reasons for not doing so.

The value of something does not lie in how much of that something there is. A large tub of margarine does not cost more than a small diamond - the monetary value lies in the rarity and purpose of the object. Something like margarine is intended for everyday use - to be ingested, digested, excreted, and then you use and buy more. A diamond wedding ring is often a once in a lifetime purchase which symbolizes the intention of love and union. Something so small can mean so much more.

The ease with which we do things does not determine the moral alignment of the action. As a stronger being, I could kill a rabbit or cat with some amount of ease. I could shoplift, I could lie, I could run my mouth off at people instead of intentionally speaking from only love, and it would be easy. Being angry is easy, being sad, being selfish - but does that make it okay?
There is a common and well-known opinion that "The right thing isn't always the easy thing." Perhaps this is true, and from my own life experience, I would say that it is. Quite often, taking the action that would leave my heart at ease and my conscience pleased requires a great deal of courage and determination. Maybe you would derive the same answer from your own experience.

And last, I face the concept of souls. Some people honestly believe that only humans possess them, and soulless beings are easily disposable. Think what you may, I am not here to change you. The semantics aren't important in this case; regardless of whether or not you believe insects have souls, they are an integral part of any ecosystem in which they are involved. Honeybees nurture the beautiful flowers that are so heavily incorporated into our culture, and spiders keep populations of other insects down. Everything has a sacred balance, and I'm pretty sure God knew what he was doing when he put this place together. Maybe we're only here for a short while, but I think we should learn from it what we can.

No, the ecosystem likely won't collapse if you take a newspaper to that spider on the bathroom floor. That's not my point. My point is that it upsets me when I hear, "It's just a moth." No, it is a moth. It's living out it's purpose like I am living out mine, and I believe it should be given the option to do that - even if that simply involves surviving.

***


The reason I got so upset tonight wasn't because the moth was attacked. I got upset because I felt mocked and scolded for wanting to keep the bug alive. It makes my heart hurt when any creature dies, and of all the opinions one could respect even if it isn't one of your own, I'd think that would be easy. Fighting boys makes me unhappy, too, because I obviously can't match their strength. I essentially felt helpless and injured, so I went for a walk and cried to a beetle.

I know that not everyone in this life will understand me or my little quirks. That's become apparent since I've felt comfortable enough with myself to show it to anyone... One thing I learned tonight, though, is that sometimes you have to explain (even to the people you love so dearly) what's going on in your heart.