White Foxes

Today seems to be one of those days where, if I don't look too closely or too far away, I seem to have the hang of things.

My day today has been pretty positive. Yesterday evening was the beginning of this streak, I think. I was visited by a friend who not only destroyed my plans for the future, but she also encouraged me to keep doing what I'm doing. She also recommended an author for me, which was prime timing since I'm about finished my Smile When You're Lying by Chuck Thompson. The author's name is Anais Nin, and I hadn't heard of her, but apparently she's a pretty big deal. She wrote erotica before pretty much anyone else, and she also kept journals for nearly her entire life. I picked up the first volume of her journals. 

The woman I bought the book from, who I assume owns the store, knew exactly where Anais' books lived, even though they were spread across three sections. I wonder if she could do that for any author. I was very impressed, but maybe Anais Nin is a way bigger deal than I know.

I feel like I'm also being tested. Yesterday, I expressed to the aforementioned ground-breaking friend that I seem to be falling for guys who are unavailable to me, for one reason or another. That's what I wrote Dear Somebody about, in case that theme wasn't obvious, though I feel it was... Wanting someone who's in love with someone else, wanting someone who has forgotten me and moved away, and wanting someone who I know exists but haven't met yet. This friend laughed when I said, "Maybe it's some profound level of me acting in self-preservation - I get heavily distracted by boys, when I would greatly benefit from focusing on my own passions." She replied, "So this is probably exactly what you need."

And I'm glad we had that conversation, and that I have that intention - to focus on my passions instead of being sidetracked by the seductive and persuasive prospect of a lover, or lovers. Hours later I learned that one of my pseudo-prospects might not be as unattainable as I thought. I feel I'm handling the situation quite gracefully. Anyway.

Some music inspires me so much. Certain chord progressions or voice types seem to remind me of some lost home I once knew but will never remember.