Odd Sensations.

After two days of solitary confinement, I'm to be let out. Hopefully. I still feel pretty shitty. But I want to go out. I am alright with suffering the symptoms and near-future consequences, but the only thing I'm wary of is getting others sick.
I'll just have to not breathe in peoples' mouths or butterfly kiss anyone.

'Cuz, y'know. I do both of those things so frequently.

So much gorgeous music has been trickling into my life via the internet. Too bad I don't have iPod speakers or headphones for my iPod. But I shouldn't complain, because there are starving children in Africa who don't have those things either. Perspective is key.

I think this illness is warping my mind! I wouldn't be surprised in the least - I've spent 2 days watching Friends and doing crosswords and making odd poultices for my eyes because my antibiotics ran out. White cabbage and echinacea powder. Oh and castor oil. It's been quite enlightening. Especially taking the internet's advice and putting lemon juice in my eyes to clean out my tear ducts. That was like an eye-hug. From FIRE.

I've resorted to putting chamomile tea and honey in my eyedrop container. It's like Eastern medecine masquerading as Western medecine. Oh man, don't you love it when concepts just personify themselves to shit in your mind? I do. It's involuntary. Like breathing, if breathing sent your thought processes spiraling into insanity.

Today I opened the window and smelled outside, and it was amazing. It smelled GOOD. The fresh air greeted my sinuses warmly. I guess when it's been a while, old friends must reconcile. Absence makes the (nose) grow fonder. I am crazy.

Do you ever get nervous at the most inopportune times? Like when you have to make a decent, respectable first impression, or do a presentation that requires the correct pronunciation of obscure, complicated words. Adrenaline is a funny thing, and that good ol' sympathetic nervous system really knows how to knock you on your ass. At the best of times.

Japanese Dramas & Visual Complications

Last night I spent 6 hours at my friend's house watching this Japanese drama called Hanna Yori Dango, and I am addicted. My mom and brother left the house and I'm seizing this opportunity to use the laptop.
Found out I have pink eye. It's horrifying, so I decided to not leave my house or let anyone but my immediate family see me in this state. I startle myself every time I look in the mirror. It's awful. And entertaining.

I've been occupying myself with Dragon Age, and wandering thoughts. Sometimes they brush through the past, and sometimes they venture out into the infinite possibilities of the future. Life is quite unpredictable, and I think I take that for granted. I'm always secretly thirsting for minute change and richness in my life, simply to keep me on my toes - Then I overlook those minute changes because they are just that. How silly of me... Anyways. I'm going to pour myself into a Japanese tv show. I hope I can read the subtitles despite my cloudy vision.

Grown-Ups Still Dance, Right?

Hey. Did my Bio12 final yesterday. Like, 24 hours ago I was doin' it.
Weird how fast time goes by.

Anyways, aside from the two provincials I have next week, I'm finished with high school. Holy shit.
I don't really know how to go about grasping this, but I suppose I'll just do what I want for a while. Seeing as I have the time and lack of obligations neccesary to do so. Y'know?

Yesterday was my best friend KG's bufdaie, and it was fun. We went to this sushi restaurant in Vancouver that was super yummy. My favorite part was when the two of us got extremely giggly while her boyfriend and family conversed about war or something. I kept making faces at other customers, but they never saw. Well, one guy did, but we probably looked drunk enough to evade too much judgement. We went back to her house, her family & boyfriend napped, and her and I had a wonderful conversation on the carpeted stairs about a little bit of everything.

I don't know how I feel today. I got up feeling sort of congested and feverish, then read Bridget Jones' Diary for an hour and a half. It's sort of depressing. Considering I just finished Memoirs of a Geisha, which, in many ways was a richer book in my opinion, I feel like maybe I should've bridged the gap with something else. I have a book called Many Waters by Madeleine L'Engle. She wrote the Wrinkle in Time series - this book, too, is about wormholes or some bizarre tear in the universe or something.

I think I feel sort of sad and sluggish. I'm not feeling too energetic, but I just ate a bunch of food. I made myself breakfast. Two eggs, two pieces of toast, two european sausages, and half a sliced red bell pepper. A sausage and most of the pepper are still on an abandoned plate in the dining room. I should go get them and finish them. But I'm so frightfully full!

This summer, I think (or hope) should prove to be interesting.

I don't know how satisfied I feel with the goodbyes I've said so far. I told my french teacher I have a crush on him, so I feel somewhat accomplished. And embarassed. But, no regrets.

I'm feeling drawn to the mall. To get bubble tea. But what will that do? I don't know. I have absolutely nothing planned to do today. I want to go to the Richmond Night Market, but alas, I have no money. My mom said she probably wouldn't be able to take me. Harumph. I should clean my room, it's a disaster site.
I had a dream I hung out with a penguin last night.

Oof. I just got hit by a blunt pang of emotion. Does that ever happen to you? You think about someone or something and bang. Oof. It's like a kick in the chest.

Atrioventricular Valves Are My Friends

Biology studying is obviously not holding my attention.
Today, so far, has been a pretty good day.
I don't know if this is just me, but do you ever feel like you feel something but you're not sure, so you overanalyze it and realize that what you're feeling is just a simulation of another feeling you once felt, but then that feeling turned out to be a reaction to false pretenses?
Yeah well that was me last week.
This week, that feeling that I thought I felt totally just Pinocchio'd.
My heart... it's a real boy!

I STILL EXIST

I have no doubt that my number of readers has wasted away to zero. I think I write on the interwebz as more of a self-expression thing than an "I want people to know my thoughts" thing.

Oh hey grad, how are you? Impending? Yes, I have days just like that. Please be kind to my already frazzled nerves. This week is grad spirit week though, which adds an element of hysterical, chaotic fun to the finality of it all. I guess. Oh man. Oh man oh man. As soon as I figure out high school, I'm kindly asked to leave. And now this real world business? I know, this is a very cliche fear. But it's reasonable, and that's why it seems so overdone.

I want a good movie, a tub of ice cream, and a box of kittens. That's all I ask of life.

Moving On.

I feel a lot better. A weight is gone.
I know I still have shit to do before I'm there, and I know I still don't know where there is, but that's okay.
I'm content.

Listening to: Broken Bells
Reading: Buddha Boy

I'm applying to college, I've decided I'd like to learn to bartend... still sort of loose on the career thing. The bartending's just to entertain and maybe make a little money, not for a forever thang. It'd just be neat, y'know?
I'm gonna go clean my room.

Love is so potent sometimes, it's hard to contain.

Irregular

Some people are shits.
It's really frustrating, being able to understand and sympathize with why they're such shits.

Maybe I'll grow into it.